Alan Hutton: Missing Person Appeal

A question we’ve all been asking in recent weeks, where exactly is Alan Hutton? Last seen playing football for Scotland on the 9th February, and last seen playing for Tottenham during the 4-0 defeat to Fulham on the 30th January. He’s not been included in any of the official Spurs site injury updates since his game for Scotland, and with Gallas playing in right back against Blackpool, questions have been raised as to his whereabouts.

Various rumours have been spreading like wildfire around the Spurs community, but none have been backed up with any hard evidence, or corroboration from official sources.

Some of the speculation as to his whereabouts are:
-He was tied up in the changing rooms after the N.Ireland match for a laugh, and then forgotten about.
-He’s taking the scenic route back from international duty
-He is curled up in a bar in Glasgow with a bottle of Scotch after Corluka reclaimed his spot in the side.
-He has given up football to pursue a career as an open top bus tour guide in Edinburgh.
-He is busy fabricating transfer gossip for all the newspapers in a bid to engineer a move out of Tottenham.
-He’s acting as Harry Redknapp’s personal house slave after a drunken bet got out of hand.
-He is in hiding after paying £20k for Mathieu Flamini to assassinate Vedran Corluka only to see it fail.
-He’s run off to join the Blue Man Group.
-He pissed off Joe Jordan and is now buried under the San Siro.
-He is orchestrating all the uprisings in the Middle East.
-Upset at losing his place to Corluka, he has run off with fellow baldie Daniel Levy, upset at losing out on the Olympic Stadium to start a clown double act with the Moscow State Circus.

Any more rumours you would like to share, please leave them in the comments box below and I’ll pass them on to the relevant authorities.

Together, we can find Alan Hutton.

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